The Waiting Game
By Jim Cofield
In the 1960s a professor at Stanford University tested hundreds of children with a very simple game. We know it as the ‘Marshmallow Experiment’. It was a waiting-game test.
The experiment began with sitting a child at a table where there was a marshmallow. The researcher offered a deal— “I have to leave the room but if you wait to eat the marshmallow until I get back you will get a second marshmallow to eat along with this one.” The choice was simple: one now or two later.
You can imagine the various ways the children acted while the researcher was gone for 15 minutes. Some ate the marshmallow on the table as soon as the researcher exited the room. Some wiggled and bounced in their chairs trying to restrain themselves. Most of them eventually gave in and ate the first marshmallow. A few managed to wait the entire 15 minutes and got the treat of a second marshmallow for waiting.
The researchers followed the development of all the children for many years. What they discovered surprised them. The children willing to wait, willing to delay gratification ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, and better social skills. In short, the experiment proved that the capacity to delay gratification was a critical factor for success in life.
No one questions the necessity of being able to delay gratification for the sake of something better, something more important (e.g., getting homework done before any screen time). But is this ability a matter of genes or can it be developed? The answer to that came from researchers at the University of Rochester. They split children into two groups. The first group were given a series of unreliable experiences (e.g., being promised a bigger treat without it ever coming). The second group were given very reliable experiences. What they were promised actually happened.
What the second experiment proved is profound-success in the waiting game depends greatly on the capacity to trust and the capacity to trust requires trustworthiness of the one making the promise.
When Mary gave birth to Jesus the people of Israel had been waiting for hundreds of years for the promised Messiah. Quite a waiting game. Surely some had given up on the promise. God seemed too unreliable. How can people be held responsible to wait so long for the Messiah. But some were patiently waiting. Mary, Joseph, the Shepherds, the Wisemen, Simeon, and Anna found a way to trust the trustworthiness of God. Their success in the waiting game was evident in their ability to receive and believe.
What waiting game are you in this Advent? Waiting for something very significant is hard. Sometimes we grab the marshmallow in front of us instead of waiting for the double treat that comes to those who persevere. God help us to trust you enough and wait on the Lord in every aspect of our lives.