How the Enneagram Helps Us Love Others
by Sally Roth
We often talk about the Enneagram Personality Profile as a wonderful tool for self-clarity. The Enneagram is an ancient tool that was designed to identify attitudes and attributes that contribute to relational connection (virtues) and, attitudes and attributes which disrupt and destroy relational connection (vices). I have found that awareness of virtues and vices helps to release us from our personal relational reactivity so that we might have more space within us to move toward others with curiousity!In addition to self-clarity, the Enneagram can give us a taste for what treasures to expect, what beauty might lie beneath, and what God-given gifts are built into the persons that we are moving toward. It helps us see others with "inside eyes."Remember the story of Gideon. Gideon, was this guy who was starving, scared, and just trying to secure some food for his family. He saw himself as weak and helpless, hiding in the caves to “hopefully” survive. A victim for sure. God showed up and called out of Gideon what he had always intended for Gideon. “Gideon, you mighty warrior.” What a powerful moment.I believe God can use the wisdom of the Enneagram and our faith as we walk in the Spirit to speak prophetically, through the brokenness, through the false-self armor, through the pitiful weakness and shame, straight into the heart of the person. What if instead of only seeing the liabilities and flaws, we believed their was treasure underneath, and we called out the true self? What if we pursued the relational gifts of those we love like buried treasure? What if we took time to see people more deeply? It would change people’s lives. Wouldn’t it change yours if someone spoke to you like God spoke to Gideon?The Enneagram not only allows me to see what shines about a person, it helps me anticipate their resistence to love and barriers to trust. The Enneagram can gives me important insight into the possibility of wounds and defenses of another. It can provide the Caution! Falling Rocks sign. If I know there might be falling rocks, and I know where they are likely to fall, then I can help navigate lovingly and with relational generosity. This is precisely how the Christ-filled and loving presence of another changes us! We can offer new possibilities and representations for what it means to love and be loved. When we respond with curiosity and generosity in a moment of reactivity or bad behavior, there is hope for change. This is what we mean at Crosspoint we often say, "the best gift we can give is our transformed and transforming presence.""Love the Lord you God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself." Loving is relational. The Enneagram is a tool that can help bring relational clarity to help us love particularity and live out our great priority to love.