Fear, Courage, and Discernment
By Tim Fraiser
Fear is a funny thing. Not funny "Ha-Ha," but funny in the sense of how it operates in our lives. The Bible talks a lot about fear. On the surface, it seems to present contrasting views of fear. On the one hand, Scripture tells us repeatedly, "Do not fear." On the other, we are told that we should fear the Lord. Ultimately, the Bible teaches us that there are two types of fear: healthy and unhealthy.
So, what is the difference between healthy and unhealthy? It is helpful to think in terms of exaggeration or diminishment. If we feel exaggerated fear, we can become overwhelmed by it. This can cause us to become frozen and unable to escape the danger we face. Suppose, however, our feelings of fear are overly diminished. In that case, we can miss the warning signals that we may be in jeopardy.
In my 20's and 30's, I served in the U.S. Air Force. I worked as a Ground Radio Technician for 10 years. One of my responsibilities was maintaining the radio equipment used to communicate between the aircraft and the Air Traffic Control Tower. My job required me to climb a 180' radio tower regularly to ensure that the antennas were working correctly. Needless to say, my stomach turned flips and somersaults at these heights, especially when there was a three to five-foot sway at the top of the tower.
The healthy fear I experienced alerted me to potential danger and caused me to proceed with caution and follow the safety protocols. However, suppose my feelings of fear were overwhelming (exaggerated). In that case, I could be frozen at the top of the tower, unable to get down. If I experienced little to no fear (diminished), I would be at risk of ignoring protocols to keep me safe.
Fear can be a healthy thing. Yes, you read that right. Healthy fear keeps us safe. It alerts us to threats, keeps us from taking unnecessary risks, and pushes us to seek the safety of relationships with our Savior and people who have proven safe.
Fear does not just aim to keep us safe physically. Fear also alerts us to emotional, spiritual, and relational dangers. Fear alerts us to proceed with caution if we are around someone who is careless with their words. Fear warns that we are in danger of emotional wounding if we are with someone who demeans us or minimizes us as persons. This can cause us to reduce our proximity to that person or to be guarded with ourselves.
Fear in our culture is almost always seen as a negative emotion. I can understand why it could be perceived this way. After all, no one I know likes feeling scared. To combat fear, we are often told we need the courage to face our fears head-on. We are inundated by motivational speakers and social media influencers encouraging us to "face our fears and do it anyway." Nike tells us to "Just do it!" It is the idea that fear is wrong and is holding us back from living our best life now. Certainly, courage is needed and helpful. But simply being courageous is a poor strategy for dealing with fear because we could foolishly ignore vital warning signs.
The reality is that we experience fear for a reason. One of those reasons is that fear prevents us from taking unnecessary risks. The emotion of fear originates in a part of the brain called the limbic system. The limbic system performs many bodily functions, but one purpose of your limbic system (survival brain) is to keep you safe: emotionally, physically, and relationally. It is programmed to keep you from taking risks. Physically, your limbic system tells you to stay clear of the edge on top of a radio tower. Relationally, it tells you not to risk vulnerability in relationships because you have been burned by someone before. You get the idea.
What we need alongside courage is discernment. We need to pay attention to our fears, not disregard them as irrelevant, or tell ourselves to "be strong and courageous" no matter what. Our fears have been shaped over a lifetime of experience dealing with the real world. They hold essential lessons that are crucial to moving forward successfully. But this does not mean we should be held hostage by our fears. Sometimes we need to move forward, despite what we may be feeling. This is where discernment comes in. In his book, "Voice of the Heart," Chip Dodd says, "discernment comes by listening to our fears and helps us choose the wisest course of action…Fear allows us to decide or discern which direction to go."
So what does this look like practically? Fear says, don't risk being vulnerable in a relationship. Discernment can tell us if this person has proven to be trustworthy or not, while courage helps us risk being vulnerable. So the next time you feel afraid, take a moment and take a deep breath, be present with the emotion of fear, and listen to what it might be telling you.