1 05, 2018

Seeing the Unseen…a post by Joy

By |2018-05-01T20:02:32-04:00May 1st, 2018|Attachment Patterns, Clarity, Discernment, Emotions, Listening, Spiritual Disciplines, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving, Trust, Trust and Faith, Vision|1 Comment

About a month ago, my eyeglass frames with progressive lenses broke. Knowing it was time to get a check-up I scheduled an appointment instead of getting my glasses repaired right away. Unfortunately, I had to wait another week to see the eye doctor. Thank goodness for another set of glasses that I use for computer work and reading music at the piano. When the time came, the check-up revealed that my eyes would require a change on my lenses so I would need to wait about 7-10 days for the new glasses to arrive. In the mean while, we

22 04, 2018

The Thrill and Agony of Longing…a post by Jim

By |2018-04-22T22:09:26-04:00April 22nd, 2018|Attachment Patterns, Clarity, Desire, Emotions, Hope, Self-Clarity|1 Comment

Two weekends ago CrossPoint hosted retreat 5 (out of 8) for our current Deeper Journey community. The topic was ‘desire’ and it certainly touched a nerve. The Bible repeatedly speaks to importance of desire, having our desires met by God, avoiding sinful desires, pursuing our deepest desires. Jesus asked the lame man, “What do you want me to do for you?” The answer seems obvious. “I want to walk so please heal me.” It seems Jesus is pointing us to the importance of naming our desires. There is the question of what desires are legitimate to pursue and what

9 01, 2018

Accept the anxiety of 2018…a post by Tom

By |2018-01-09T17:34:43-04:00January 9th, 2018|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Clarity, Emotions, Grace, Letting Go, Suffering, Trust|0 Comments

Happy New Year! I hope it is a slow, unstable, gradual, and anxious one for you.   Could you imagine getting a card with this in it?  Well, the following words from Teilhard shed light on what this spiritual formation process feels like. The ending part on "accepting the anxiety" has ministered to me greatly.   I thought them worthy of reflection for 2018. “Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being

3 10, 2016

Home is where the heart is…a post by Jim

By |2016-10-03T20:40:24-04:00October 3rd, 2016|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Community, Emotions, family systems, Relational Design, Self-Clarity, Suffering, The Relational Soul|0 Comments

Home is where the heart is. Sounds encouraging. And it should be. Home should be the place where our souls are safe, encouraged, and loved. Home should be the best place to be. But there is another way to think of the phrase, “Home is where the heart is.” And it isn’t necessarily good news. Because the state of our home, especially our family of origin when we are young, has a huge impact on where the heart is emotionally. And if the home system is not healthy or holy we will struggle when it comes to how close

13 06, 2016

Escaping the Matrix…a post by Jim

By |2016-07-14T21:34:39-04:00June 13th, 2016|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Community, Creation, Emotions, Humility, Imagination, Memory, Relational Design, Self-Clarity, Suffering|0 Comments

  God created us to be a complex mix of biology and experience. We are embodied souls who have minds that inevitably draw us into relationships. Gregory Boyd calls this complex interface a matrix (Escaping the Matrix). He explains what he means by saying, biologically, we are given billions of neurons that connect via trillions of neuro synapsis. We are also given the manner by which the brain is constructed to function (e.g. neurons firing together wire together). God created us this way and it is “very good” (and incredibly complex!). Now what gets registered in our God-given neuro

1 03, 2016

Walking In Step…a post by Joy

By |2016-07-14T21:39:03-04:00March 1st, 2016|Attachment Patterns, Discernment, Emotions, Fear, Humility, Responsibility, Spiritual Disciplines, Truth|0 Comments

Many years ago, I memorized Psalm 37: 23 as a song. The verse reads :  “The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. “ This song has played over and over in my heart and mind the last couple of weeks. I began to think about the different kinds of steps that Christ guides us to take in our journeys of spiritual formation. Some steps moving forward are small and some are moving by

25 03, 2014

Our Broken Emotional Thermostat

By |2014-11-17T19:32:32-04:00March 25th, 2014|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Relational Design, The Relational Soul, Trust, Trust and Faith|0 Comments

Taken from The Relational Soul – When it comes to the thermostat of our learned level of emotional intimacy there are three things to keep in mind. First, the early setting becomes one’s normal … Second, the setting on the soul’s thermostat ranges from icy cold to boiling hot, from detached to enmeshed ways of being with others … The third thing to note about the thermostat is this—the thermostat is defective (as if we didn’t have enough to worry about already!).

18 03, 2014

How Close Can I Be and Still Feel Safe?

By |2014-11-17T19:32:32-04:00March 18th, 2014|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Emotions, The Relational Soul, Trust|0 Comments

Taken from The Relational Soul – Our attachment pattern contributes to the level of closeness that makes us feel safe. For some closeness creates anxiety. For others separation creates anxiety. This learned level of closeness in which one feels safe is called the “proximity principle” or one’s “learned level of intimacy.” The proximity principle functions much like the thermostat that regulates the temperature in a house.

11 03, 2014

Four Ways of Relating

By |2014-11-17T19:32:32-04:00March 11th, 2014|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Relational Design, The Relational Soul, Trust|0 Comments

Avoidant Attachment Pattern Taken from The Relational Soul – When the primary caregivers are consistently unavailable a child learns to avoid trusting others. The learning is not conscious, but it is profound. When mom or dad routinely fails to show up emotionally, a child experiences the pain of anxiety. Over time a child learns to defend against the pain by avoiding others emotionally. The child unconsciously begins to feel it is better to be distant than disappointed.