The Relational Soul – CrossPoint

21 12, 2016

Merry Christmas from CrossPoint…a post by Rich

Merry Christmas from CrossPoint…a post by Rich

By Jim Cofield|2016-12-21T05:33:24-04:00December 21st, 2016|Advent, Community, Relational Design, Sacramental Perspective, The Relational Soul, Trinity, Trust|1 Comment

We at CrossPoint Ministry wish you all a very Merry Christmas. In a world polarized by and riddled with fear there is no greater message than of the one who is called “Immanuel” God with us. The Christmas story is magnificent in many ways. The angelic announcement to the shepherds of “good news of great joy,” the noble humility of Mary and her words “let it be to me according to your word,” and Joseph’s dream marked by the angelic voice saying, ‘She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his

3 10, 2016

Home is where the heart is…a post by Jim

Home is where the heart is…a post by Jim

By Jim Cofield|2016-10-03T20:40:24-04:00October 3rd, 2016|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Community, Emotions, family systems, Relational Design, Self-Clarity, Suffering, The Relational Soul|0 Comments

Home is where the heart is. Sounds encouraging. And it should be. Home should be the place where our souls are safe, encouraged, and loved. Home should be the best place to be. But there is another way to think of the phrase, “Home is where the heart is.” And it isn’t necessarily good news. Because the state of our home, especially our family of origin when we are young, has a huge impact on where the heart is emotionally. And if the home system is not healthy or holy we will struggle when it comes to how close

6 06, 2016

Let the Gospels Define Us…a post by Rich

Let the Gospels Define Us…a post by Rich

By Jim Cofield|2016-07-14T21:34:57-04:00June 6th, 2016|Community, Holy Spirit, Love, Relational Design, Self-Clarity, The Relational Soul, Trinity|0 Comments

A recent discussion with a pastor led to us considering the question, what do the gospel writers emphasize as the message of Jesus? Did the gospel writers emphasize that Jesus brought a message about life or was it about sin. Our perspective at CrossPoint is that the gospel writers believed that Jesus in inaugurating and establishing the new creation through his life, death, resurrection and ascension was bringing a message of life. Perhaps John is most explicit when he records these words of Jesus, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die,

27 04, 2016

Christ, the Doting Father…a post by Joy

Christ, the Doting Father…a post by Joy

By Jim Cofield|2016-07-14T21:36:55-04:00April 27th, 2016|Creation, Faith, Loneliness, Love, The Relational Soul|0 Comments

This past week-end we have been celebrating the 1st birthday of our grandson, Hayden. Having never been in this position before, we entered the occasion with delight! Travel plans to fly across the country were made, bags were packed, the camera and phones were charged to take lots of pictures and video clips and of course, a birthday gift was chosen, purchased and wrapped. While participating in the preparations for the party, Jim and I were told that Hayden needed a playmate. We, or course, obliged! Watching him explore while crawling from place to place reminded me how far he

19 04, 2016

Let’s Get Physical…a post by Jim

Let’s Get Physical…a post by Jim

By Jim Cofield|2016-07-14T21:37:10-04:00April 19th, 2016|Beauty, Burnout, Creation, Emotions, Humility, Memory, Relational Design, Sacramental Perspective, Self-Clarity, Sexuality, The Relational Soul|0 Comments

A couple months ago I wrote a post about the importance our bodies in spiritual formation. I’m coming back to the same topic because I just can’t get it out of my mind (and my body!). What Your Body Knows about God (Rob Moll ...If you are interested in more on the body and its impact on formation I strongly encourage you to read it) is also at work in my reflections on the body. As I have read it (and pay attention to my own experience) I am more and more convinced that our bodies REALLY influence the

8 04, 2014

Love Changes Me

Love Changes Me

By Crosspoint Ministry|2014-11-17T19:32:31-04:00April 8th, 2014|Attachment, Love, Relational Design, The Relational Soul|0 Comments

Taken from The Relational Soul – It is in our closest relationships that our attachment pattern and learned level of intimacy shows up most dramatically. We can meet a stranger on the sidewalk and be courteous and kind. But work in business with someone, serve in ministry with someone, live in a marriage with someone and our “stuff” begins to show. When it does we can make commitments to connect better, be more kind, to spend more time with each other, to not let another hit our emotional buttons (the list goes on and on). But more often than not we

1 04, 2014

Too Hot … Too Cold

Too Hot … Too Cold

By Crosspoint Ministry|2014-11-17T19:32:32-04:00April 1st, 2014|Attachment, The Relational Soul, Trust|0 Comments

Taken from The Relational Soul – Trust fosters an open, receptive soul that is able to give one’s self and receive the presence of another in a free, responsible, and loving way. Mistrust leads to a closed, reactive soul that is unavailable to another in both detached and enmeshed ways. A receptive way of relating is the result of early relational connections in which one felt safe, secure, and deeply loved. It is marked BY a willingness to be present to others as they are without exaggerated evaluation or judgment or protection.

25 03, 2014

Our Broken Emotional Thermostat

By Crosspoint Ministry|2014-11-17T19:32:32-04:00March 25th, 2014|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Relational Design, The Relational Soul, Trust, Trust and Faith|0 Comments

Taken from The Relational Soul – When it comes to the thermostat of our learned level of emotional intimacy there are three things to keep in mind. First, the early setting becomes one’s normal … Second, the setting on the soul’s thermostat ranges from icy cold to boiling hot, from detached to enmeshed ways of being with others … The third thing to note about the thermostat is this—the thermostat is defective (as if we didn’t have enough to worry about already!).

18 03, 2014

How Close Can I Be and Still Feel Safe?

How Close Can I Be and Still Feel Safe?

By Crosspoint Ministry|2014-11-17T19:32:32-04:00March 18th, 2014|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Emotions, The Relational Soul, Trust|0 Comments

Taken from The Relational Soul – Our attachment pattern contributes to the level of closeness that makes us feel safe. For some closeness creates anxiety. For others separation creates anxiety. This learned level of closeness in which one feels safe is called the “proximity principle” or one’s “learned level of intimacy.” The proximity principle functions much like the thermostat that regulates the temperature in a house.

11 03, 2014

Four Ways of Relating

Four Ways of Relating

By Crosspoint Ministry|2014-11-17T19:32:32-04:00March 11th, 2014|Attachment, Attachment Patterns, Relational Design, The Relational Soul, Trust|0 Comments

Avoidant Attachment Pattern Taken from The Relational Soul – When the primary caregivers are consistently unavailable a child learns to avoid trusting others. The learning is not conscious, but it is profound. When mom or dad routinely fails to show up emotionally, a child experiences the pain of anxiety. Over time a child learns to defend against the pain by avoiding others emotionally. The child unconsciously begins to feel it is better to be distant than disappointed.